How to perform a safe and enjoyable prostate massage

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What if we told you that men have their own G-spot? That there is a special organ that can induce earth-shattering orgasms? This wondrous part of the male anatomy is the prostate, aka the P-spot. With proper stimulation, it will spice up your sex life.

Prostate what? Where?

The prostate is a muscular gland the size of a pebble, and all men have it. The organ has two main functions. Firstly, it creates the seminal fluid that’s found in the ejaculate. Secondly, it controls the flow of urine and semen. Basically, it is the bouncer that lets the right fluid into the urethra.

You can consider the prostate a hidden gem of the male body. It is located somewhere between the butt and abdominal wall. More precisely, it’s a couple of centimeters up the rectal wall in the direction of your bladder. Also, vertically speaking, it’s a few centimeters up your perineum. That’s the region between the testicles and anus, appropriately referred to as no man’s land.

The location of the prostate can allow outer stimulation through the perineum. However, if you want to massage it properly, you need to go through the back door. Even though you can reach it easily, the fact it requires anal penetration makes some men reluctant to try it.

Start the conversation

Let’s just say that many guys find prostate massage to be a touchy subject. Generally, playing with the butt area and no man’s land is off-limits. These parts are highly sensitive, so incorrect handling can be discomforting. What’s more, some guys can see it as an invasion of their masculinity.

These are some of the obstacles on the road to prostate orgasms. Although you can surpass them easily, it’s important to understand they do exist. The first and most important step is to make yourself acquainted and comfortable with prostate massage, be it through solo play or partnered sex.

Explore freely without expecting revolutionary results. If you’re experimenting by yourself, give yourself time to react to new sensations. Listen to your body, and let it guide you. If you include your partner, be open about your fantasies and what scares you. Communicate clearly what feels good and what doesn’t. If you are the one giving the massage, listen carefully and be patient.

Whatever your role in the prostate massage is, communication is key.


Taking a steamy shower, scrubbing your privates, and getting an enema have an additional function. You will get in touch with your body. Hygiene can become a ritual that helps you prepare for a prostate massage. Your perineum and anus will become more open for stimulation. If you’re doing the massage as a couple, invite your partner into the shower and enjoy the anticipation and preparation together.

Depending on your erotic plans, prepare for the massage accordingly. Maybe you or your partner want to go all-natural and use fingers. In this case, be sure to cut and trim your nails as much as possible. Accidental scratches in such delicate areas are highly unpleasant. It goes without saying — wash your hands well.

In case toys are part of the fun, just make sure you wash them well. Some soap and water will do the trick. Rinse the toy well. If your sex aid has batteries or charging ports, be mindful not to get them wet.

With your fingers

Don’t rush it. Take it slow, take your time, and see what works for you or your partner.


The hands-on approach is definitely an excellent start for beginners. Once you have cleaned up, you are ready to go. First things first, get into the mood! Watch some porn, fantasize, masturbate. If you are with a partner, get into foreplay and fool around.

The reason behind all this preparation is not only to make you more relaxed. When the penis gets erect, the prostate swells up. In other words, arousal means that you can find the P-spot more easily, and it will be more susceptible to stimulation. As part of your foreplay, include caressing and massaging the perineum. Avoid immediate force as the area is highly sensitive.

The main event

For some men, massaging the perineum while masturbating or getting a blowjob is steamy enough. However, you should try a rectal massage. The first step is to play with the anus, caress it, fondle it, and apply soft pressure. When ready, insert one finger slowly. You can use a condom or wear a glove. Most importantly, use lube — the more, the better.

When you’ve entered the rectum, slide the finger towards the abdominal wall. You should soon feel a spongy lump. Congratulations — you’ve reached the prostate! Now, you can massage it smoothly and play with your partner’s reactions.

With sex toys

Follow the same advice as with the finger prostate massage. Get into the mood and approach the anus slowly. Nevertheless, there are some pointers regarding sex toys you should take into consideration.

Get the right toy

Pamper yourself by choosing the right aid from for your prostate massage. It will be an object with which you’ll get highly intimate, so indulge yourself. Choose what feels right. Figure out which materials you like — the soft silicone, shiny metal, or slick plastic. Although many sex toys seem alien in design, try to find the one that feels comfortable.

Toys specialized for anal play

Speaking of design, there are a few things you should know before getting your sex toy. If you plan to use it for anal penetration, it should have a flared base. The sphincter can have an involuntary reflex. It might suck up the toy, and without the proper base, the toy might end up trapped in your rectum. This is a problematic situation, and it might require medical assistance.

Prostate massagers

Luckily, prostate massagers exist. They are distinct in the way that they are slightly curved so that you can reach your P-spot more easily. Additionally, if you’re new to prostate massage, don’t start with the toys that vibrate. Build up to them after some experience.

We hope that we have warmed you up to the idea of prostate massage. It’s safe, it’s mind-blowingly pleasurable, and it can spice up your sex life. Be honest with yourself and communicate with your partner. Once you get into it, don’t forget — there’s no such thing as too much lube.

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